Flashback #1

Last December 16 I recalled something that happened exactly 12 years ago. It's not really an important day. It's just a classmate's birthday. I'm not really fond of her though I find her pretty... but I remember that date clearly because it was a weird day for me. It was my first time to go to that house, yet it feels as if I've been there before. Deja'vu, as other's might call it.

Personally I just think it's a pretty accurate coincidence, because nothing significant happened.

When I was just a kid, maybe 4 or 5, I have this recurring place in my dream.

I'm standing on a big tree on the side of a road. On the bend of the road there's this house with a terrace. On the terrace there's a group of people looking down on me.

That event had no bearing whatsoever in my life.

When I first set foot on that place, I immediately recognized it and I was absentminded to the people around me the whole time---alert of my surroundings--- maybe my mind foresaw something....but nothing happened.

The first thing I wanted to check was who was on the terrace of my classmate's house. So I went up and saw no one there except for my classmates. And then I looked in front of the tree: there were kids playing in front of the tree.

......

Wala lang gusto ko lang magsulat. Hango sa totoong pangyayari yan...at hindi pawang gawa gawa lamang. XP

Nakakailang post na ako sa facebook, multiply at twitter pero feeling ko hindi ko pa rin naisusulat lahat ng gusto kong isulat. Pagkatapos nito, may isusulat uli ako. Maghanda sa bahang gagawin ko... >:)

Welcome to the internet

Hi. Welcome to the magical world of the internet! But before you proceed, we would you to answer the following questions. Failing to pass this test will make you ineligible to enter.

1) 1+0+(1x0)+0+1+1+1+0+1x0(0x1) = ?

2) Fill in the blank: ____ going to the party

a) their

b) they're

c) there

3) Fill in the blank: You may now take ___ share of the prize.

a) your

b) you're

4) Insert the missing punctuation mark/s in this sentence: lets eat grandma

5a) Give AT LEAST a name OR a surname of ANY of the hobbits in The Lord of the Rings trilogy. (You immediately pass this test if you can name all of them) _____

5b) Name at least 3 characters from harry potter (aside from harry potter).

6) What's the capital of your country?

7) Name at least 10 other countries aside from your [own] country.

8) Have you ever watched AND understood a post-Titanic Leonardo DiCaprio film? yes/no

9) There's a problem with you're computer. You can go to the internet, but it's still not working properly. What would you do?

a) call your reluctant computer-savy neigbor/relative/friend

b) google the problem

c) go to yahoo answers

10) BONUS:

What does this mean?/ What is this? --> 1337

a) some kind of internet code/language - it's an insult word

b) some kind of internet code/language - it's a compliment word

c) what kind of sorcery is this?!?

d) some kind of internet code/language - it's an emoticon

e) some kind of internet code/language

f) some kind of programming language.

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Dapat may reading comprehension part din to...XP

Rise of the pedobears

Pagkakaalam ko, ang evolution libo-libo hanggang milyong taon ang inaabot. Pero meron akong napapansing adaptation/evolution ng mga tao na nangyari in less than 20 years:

Anlalaki na ng mga bata ngayon!!!

Kahapon, habang naghihintay na magupitan may nakita akong 'teenager' na medyo may itsura. When I realized na sobrang layo ng age gap...I sighed and resumed sa paglalaro ko sa cellphone ko. Bigla siyang tumayo at pumunta sa counter na nasa tabi ko. Nang magsalita siya, I realized kung gaano talaga siya ka-bata based sa boses niya: anak ng~.....nasa 8-12 lang!!! @__@

DEFUQ

I can't believe I just checked out a 10-ish girl. Di ako makapaniwala sa size nung bata...halos kasing tangkad ko....plus naka-strap high heels (ganun ba ang tawag dun??). If you saw her...I promise you wouldn't even think of judging me. Ugh. 10 year old. really.

The voices in my head didn't judge me either... maikukumpara mo yung eksena sa utak ko sa Mission Control ng Apollo 13 na nagkakagulo.

It's not the first time that this happened...pero first time na ganito kalala. Yung iba mga 15 na napagkamalan kong 20++... although mas malaki yung gap ng [akala ko] 18, [yun pala ay] 10 kumpara sa 15,20++ ....iba pa rin talaga pag bata...as in bata na yung pinag-uusapan.

I don't think there's any problem with me. Once I know that the age is inappropriate, wala na yun. It's just that they're just really getting bigger and the way that they dress is ---IMHO---- inappropriate for their age.

Napatunayan ko yung punto ko nung nakita ko kung gaano kakapal nung make-up nung nanay(?) niya----parang quarry site ng violet make-up.

I don't know who's to blame: yung parents ba, yung generation, yung 'uso' or what...

Ewan ko...basta ang alam ko hindi ako pedobear....XP

Kwentong Kutsero

Sobrang nakakatamad talaga siguro ng trabaho na pagiging Taxi Driver.

Tuwing sumasakay ako ng taxi, merong kuwentong dala yung driver. Kadalasan tungkol sa traffic --duh-- minsan umaabot hanggang sa pulitika. Mabuti pa yung mga security guard, sila, kahit papaano, nakakakwentuhan yung mga may nilalakong paninda. Samantalang ang mga taxi driver, naka-aircon nga, pero wala naman silang makausap----hanggang sa may sumakay.

Ang kwento kagabi ni manong, maliban sa traffic ay yung hirap ng buhay ngayon. Naikwento nya na hindi pa raw siya pwedeng umuwi kasi kulang pa rin ang kita niya sa buong araw. Ala-una na ng madaling araw nung sumakay ako sa taxi niya. Pagkatapos daw, kinabukasan ng alas diyes, may trabaho pa uli siya. Hindi ko lang alam kung taxi pa rin---malamang hindi, base sa pagkakasabi niya nung sentence.

Hindi ako nakipagkwentuhan sa driver sa pagkakataon na yun kagabi. Antok na antok na rin kasi ako at kailangan ng makauwi dahil dumadami na naman yung late ko.

Social Networks and their purpose for me.

Facebook = pag gusto kong magpapansin. para i-check kung buhay pa nga ba ako at hindi ako parang yung mga multo sa 6th Sense na hindi alam na patay na pala siya.

Multiply = Pulitika, pang-gagaya kay Ramon Bautista, at mga patawa na hindi bebenta sa 'masa'.

Twitter = walang makausap, gustong kausapin si internet. minsan may sumasagot, pero pag may sumasagot, ayoko namang mapansin, hahaha.

Google Buzz = para sa mga announcement sa opisina para sa mga sumusunod na bagay: Non-Working Holiday at pagdating nina Totoy, Manang, ate-na-nagtitinda-ng-mani, at pa-free lunch ng mga may birthday.

Tumblr = pwedeng ikumpara sa isang lugar na tatakbuhan mo para lang umutot. ganun.

Evernote = tula, kanta, suicide notes at iba pa. (sikret)

???????? = raw emotional baggage. (sikret)

LiveJournal = Seryosong inglisan ito. (sikret)

deviantArt = WALA! hahaha XD

Money Zombies

Sa kabilang sulok ng mundo merong mga tao na natutulog sa tabi ng kalsada sa loob ng mga tent/sleeping bag. Hindi sila mahihirap. Actually, malamang sa malamang, mas mayayaman sila sa atin.

Nakapila sila sa tapat ng mall at sinehan para sa Black Friday Sale (NEXT FRIDAY PA YUN!!) or much worse: para manood ng walaaaaaaaaaaang kakwenta-kwentang BREAKING DAWN. Mind you, I actually read the plot in wikipedia, I'm not judging it by how others see it. When I read the summary I understood Stephen King's comment* on the saga.

Nangyayari yan halos once a month sa ibang bansa, pag may bagong labas na pelikula o bagong labas na product. Ito na siguro yung pinakamagandang example para sa gasgas na quote(?)/statement(?) na "money controls you".

Kahit yumaman ako, hindi ako magtatayo ng tent para sa isang produkto---kahit limited edition pa yan. I guess halos lahat ng pinoy ganyan din naman din ang gagawin---maliban na lang kung perishable goods na yung pinag-uusapan (sa isang food shortage, halimbawa).

I think it's pathetic to measure your life's worth by the things you have and things you've done ahead of the others. I know I shouldn't be talking about simplicity dahil ako mismo ay materialistic, pero at least I desire not to remain this way.

I love to work

May pinost na ako na parang ganito dati. Noong estudyante pa ako, palagi kong naririnig sa mga nagtatrabaho na na "Pag nagtatrabaho ka na, hihilingin mo na sana nag-aaral ka na lang ulit". Merong mga ilang panahon na naramdaman ko yon, pero hindi yon nagtatagal. Nararamdaman ko lang yun kapag may lakad ang mga kaibigan ko dahil "no classes" sila.

Noong estudyante pa ako, P20 hanggang P100 bills lang ang "mainstay" sa wallet ko (kung merong laman). Manghang mangha ako sa mga kaibigan kong hindi nawawalan ng ginto (P500) sa wallet. Pag ang wallet ko, may laman na 500, isa lang ang ibig sabihin nito: may bibilhin ako na pinag-ipunan ko ng isang buong linggo. Kaya ngayong nagtatrabaho na ako, laking tuwa ko na madalas na akong may ginto sa wallet --- take note: madalas---hindi 'lagi'.

My friends wouldn't believe me sa sasabihin kong ito: napakagaling kong magtipid. Bata pa lang ako, alam ko na ang halaga ng pera. Hindi ako nagpapabili ng laruan pag alam kong mahal yun. Ang una kong tanong pag may nagustuhan akong laruan: "Mahal po ba ito?". Hindi naman kami mahirap, pero noon pa lang alam ko na mahalaga para sa matatanda ang pera.

---------

Iba talaga pag nagtatrabaho ka na. Pag estudyante ka, pwedeng ipagpabukas mo na lang ang isang gawain. Pwedeng magpabagsak ka na lang at bumawi ka next time. Noong Biyernes ng gabi, gusto ko nang umuwi. bahala na si batman. Pero hindi pwede. Kailangang maging mature at masunod ang kailangan ng client. Kailangang magtrabaho kahit ayaw mo na, kasi may mga taong umaasa sa gagawin mo. Mas matindi pa kaysa sa kombinasyon ng pressure ng Thesis, Case Study at Finals noong college ang naranasan ko.

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I'm one of the rare few that actually enjoy the course that I have taken. I enjoy programming. Minsan nga gumagawa ako ng programs dahil "wala lang". Noon, akala ko ang passion ko ay ito mismong I.T., pero ngayon narealize ko na isa lang ito sa sakop ng totoo kong passion: problem solving. Ngayon ko lang naintindihan kung bakit ako interesado sa napakaraming larangan (see older blog post)

-----

Recently din, narealize ko na bilang isang programmer, may kakayahan akong makapagligtas ng mga buhay ng ibang tao. Dahil dito, lalo kong naiintindihan kung gaano ka-seryoso ng bawat integer na pinapasa-pasa ko sa mga program ko.

Kailan lang ay gumawa ako ng isang program na nagbo-broadcast ng emergency bulletin sa isang buong bansa---isang bansa na madalas tamaan ng sakuna ( I won't elaborate further due to confidentiality and stuff). Kung paiiralin ko ang bahala-na approach dun sa ginagawa ko, baka hindi makarating sa mamamayan ng bansang yun yung announcement na maaaring ikamatay nila.

It's amazing how words can decide the fate of someone's life.

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Ito ang ikalawang taon ko ng pagtatrabaho sa kasalukuyan kong kumpanya. Sandali lang pala talaga ang tatlong taon. Dalawang taon na rin pala ang nakakalipas mula nung halos mawalan na ako ng pag-asang makahanap ng trabaho, pero eto ako ngayon at nakakaranas ng iba-ibang blessings sa kasalukuyan kong trabaho.

Cleaning up my closet

I've heard from the morning rush that there are many types of OC Disorder.

The most popular types are the cleaners, washers and the checkers. ---- Do I even need to explain what they're obsessed about?

I did a bit of research, and I found out that there are many other types of OCD.

I'm no psychologist but I think I fall in the hoarder category. Hoarders have the tendency to keep things that might be useful in the future. This is one of the not-very-organized types of OCD. People who belong in this category tend to be messy with all the stuff we've collected.

Just yesterday I managed to clear a whole closet worth of magazines, papers, test papers, sentimental rocks, pokemon cards, and other stuff from my room---rendering my room 8 cubic feet bigger. I didn't throw all of them, I just placed them in a slightly more organized drawer.

The funny thing is--- I think I'm not the only one suffering from this. As I was digging through all the stuff, I also found some of my brothers' research papers, plus some expired fireworks from the early 2000's.

365 Project

Hitchhiker

I've always imagined what it feels like to be alone in space. I've always been fascinated by its lack the lack of air, the possibility that you will run out of oxygen.

It's been said that if creatures that live in 1 atm pressure -- like us --- will explode when our skins are exposed to the vacuum of space. Creatures that live thousands of feet below sea level suffer the same fate when they are taken to our altitude, because their bodies are designed to "fight" the crushing depths--and when there is no external pressure to "fight", they explode.

Some research say that we won't pop when exposed to vacuum. But still, being in space would be very dangerous to our bodies because of the constant radiation beaming from everywhere.

When I was a kid I have this constant fear of being alone in space.

What if the world was destroyed and I was inside a car, and then the car was able to protect me from all the explosion. Back then, I didn't know that cars weren't airtight. I thought I would have to wait for until I consume all the oxygen trapped inside the car.

What if I was an astronaut and my connection to the shuttle was severed by some stray meteorite. How long would it take for a person to suffocate? How would it feel like to die from suffocation---being able to breathe, yet not even your strongest inhale would help your dear life.

What if you were able to survive in a space suit or inside your car in space for more than a day, and the sun starts tugging on you, burning you with it's 5 million degree Celsius tongues of fire?

At that temperature, I don't think you'd still be alive even if you're still hundreds of miles away from the sun's surface.

...or if you live long enough to be sucked up by a black hole, crushing you with its near infinite gravity... how does it feel like to be crushed by gravity, and to be in a place where even light is enslaved by the immense gravity..crushing you into a less than microscopic point in space and time.

what if?

When the music stops

It's 3 in the afternoon. It's Saturday, 28th of October. Imbis na magpractice, eto ako nagbblog. Hindi ako magugulat kung wala na namang aattend mamaya (lagi namang walang umaattend). Kung meron mangpumunta, ang pupunta lang naman ay yung mga hindi ko na kailangan pang turuan. Sayang ang effort sa pagpapractice, kaya eto nakahiga na lang ako at nag-iinternet (malamang yun din naman ang ginagawa ng members ngayon---or worse, yun ang ginagawa nila habang nandoon ako at naghihintay ng members para sa practice)

Kung ihahalintulad ko ang choir namin sa isang bansa, pwede kong ikumpara ito ngayon sa Pilipinas:

Puno ng mga taong puro na lang reklamo, pero wala namang kumikilos. Mangati lang ang ilong, excuse na yun para hindi umattend.

Noong una, akala ko ako lang ang may problema. Masyado lang ba talaga akong masungit o nakakatakot o pangit tumugtog? I'm always trying to be nice sa mga bagong members---pero walang nangyari. Sinubukan kong magpractice ng mabuti---wala rin.

Nakakatamad na talaga. Ubos na ang pasensiya ko. Pero hindi ako tumutugtog para sa kanila. Tumutugtog ako para sa misa. Tumutugtog ako para sa Diyos at para sa mga taong nagsisiba. Nakakalungkot nga lang, kasi wala akong kasama.

Kumakanta sila para:

• sa barkada
• magkaroon ng upuan habang nasa misa.
• para lang masabing choir member sila

"Gustong mag-serve?"--- are you kidding? ipagpapalit nila ang Diyos sa sine, liga ng basketball, inuman, atbp.

Ito ang gustong magserve:

• Kahit umuulan, pupunta.
• Kahit pagod sa trabaho, assignment, pag-aaral, etc, pupunta
• kahit may kagalit/katampuhan sa grupo, pupunta pa rin

---

I want to teach a lot of songs to this group. Too bad they do not want to be taught.

Courses I would have taken if I was immortal

• Computer Science - Being a programmer is like playing god. You create things out of nothing. It's a magical experience IMO.
• Mathematics - math is THE universal language. If we discovered alien life forms, our languages may not be similar but our computations will. They'd have an idea of the mathematical constants and stuff that we use here---for sure.
• Robotics - Who wouldn't want to build giant robots and stuff. Unfortunately, at this current age, when you say "robotics" the thought usually entails a robotic arm... just the arm.
• Astronomy - This has been my dream since I was a kid. I'd often lie on my back looking at the stars, imagining myself falling to the infinite sky. I'd be dead long before I reach the bottom of that sparkly pit.
• Physics (Theoretical, Experimental, and Astrophysics) - There's still a lot that we don't know about the world around us---not to mention the world above us.
• Chemistry - the wonders of the inner space is just as amazing as the outer space.
• Marine Biology - I find marine creatures way more fascinating that terrestrial ones...specially those that live in depths that could crush our toughest machines
• Architecture / Industrial Design / Industrial Eng'g - I love well designed stuff. I love those "simple touch(es)" that could make or break a gadgets usability. e.g.: computer mouse with grooves that perfectly fits a hand, well-researched/experimented screen size (like the iPhone's), tiny grooves in a camera that makes it easier to hold on to it---stuff like that.
• Psychology/Psychiatry/Neurology - For me, the brain is the most awesome part of the human body. It's the single part that defines a human being.
• Food Technology - food. nuff' said.
• Agriculture - This is one of my oddities. I want to develop an efficient way of farming.
• Genetics - What if we could genetically modify trees that can grow to any shape we wanted? Could we make houses from trees? Can we start "Planting our houses"? ---this is just one of the amazing possibilities of genetics that came to my mind.
• Creative writing - because I hate writing... duh.
• Fine Arts / Conservatory of Music - again, duh.
• Marketing / Business Administration - I've always wanted to make my own business. I have some ideas in mind, but I don't know how to start and where to start. Among the other courses I've written here, THIS is the one that I'm most likely to actually take within 2 or 3 years.
• Archaeology / Anthropology - When I was a kid, I've always been amazed by prehistoric creatures -- forget dinosaurs --- I think 3-meter wide dragonflies and bus-sized great white sharks are more freaking amazing. I'm also amazed by the movement of the continents throughout the different geological periods.
• Ethical Hacking - this is the second course that I'm most likely to take in the future. You can compare ethical hacking to Constructive Criticism -- you hack to expose vulnerabilities that needs improvement.
• Philosophy - I actually came close to studying this course instead of Computer Science. This is the one course that could explain everything, teach you everything.

First day funic

I've been saying this for about three years now...sabi ko, pangarap kong mapuntahang work yung pagttraining... FInally it came true. The first half of today was awkward. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how things work----heck, I didn't even know how to do the things that I was about to teach.

To add up to my worries, the people I needed for me to setup my first lesson were all on leave, as if it was orchestrated to be so.

Akala ko dati makakatulong yung training ko sa pagtuturo sa choir sa pagtuturo ko sa work, pero iba pala... Iba na may hawak kang marker at nagsusulat sa whoteboard. Pero pagdating naman nung hapon kahit papaano umayos na naman yung flow ng pagtuturo ko. I tried to avoid telling my students na first time ko lang.

Buti na lang din pala at nagkataon na may nakipagswap sa [supposedy] 5-days na training ko---dahil incidentally, meron siyang defense bukas.

Just when I thought everything was against me, It turns out that it was all for the better.

God move in mysterious ways---parang kanta lang.

Conflict of Interest

Ang tunay na lalake walang abs...daw

Binabasa ko ngayon yung This is a Crazy Planets ni Lourd de Veyra. Isa sa mga ---could I say--- blog(?) niya dun ay yung tungkol sa mga kaibigan niyang todo maintenance sa abs.

True, he kinda has a point...majority ng may abs ay mga bading na mainstay ng mga gym. I've tried going to the gym on two occasions (by "occasions", I mean two different gyms for a few months---hindi 2 times lang). At karamihan nga sa may mga totoong abs ay bading---yung mga tunay na lalaki, yung mga malalaki yung tiyan na nag-aagawan sa exercise machine para sa abs.

Pero he focused dun sa mga paraan --- or kaartehan --- sa pagpili ng pagkain para lang i-maintain yung abs.

Ang pagkakaroon ng abs, higit sa exercise, ay nasa diet. Marami akong naririnig sa gym dati na nakaka-200 daw silang sit-ups, pero aakalain mong anak sa labas ni Erap sa laki ng tiyan nila.

I guess his point was, ang tunay na lalaki walang pakialam sa itsura; praktikal, sa madaling salita: mas iisipin yung abala ng pagsasakripisyo sa pagkain, kaysa sa outcome.

... sa mas madaling salita: tamad.

Marami na akong kakilalang na nag-repost nito (probably para i-justify yung pagkakaroon ng bilbil). Pag maganda nga naman yung choice of words mo, hindi na mag-iisip pa ang mga tao, benta na agad sa kanila yung idea.

...at sa mas madali pa lalong salita...

...to sum up everything i said in this blog...

I disagree. ---yun lang.. *bow*

Weekend Warrior

Ilang buwan na ang nakakaraan tadtad yung weekend ko ng activities: gym, violin lessons, guitar lessons, choir practice, at 4pm sunday mass. It doesn't sound too difficult...pero lahat ng activities na yan, may overtime...kaya wala na akong oras magpahinga pag weekend. Pag sinabing 2hrs lang ang activity, sa totoo lang, umaabot yun ng 3-4hrs. Plus, yung violin, guitar at choir practice, nangangailangan ng practice beforehand....at yung gym naman, papatayin ako sa sakit ng katawan at pagod, pagkatapos ko.

Now I'm thinking of doing it again...pero isang activity na lang (maliban sa choir activities of course). I'm thinking of trying out boxing. I badly need to grow physically [not to mention--emotionally too].

Spirit of the bolpen

As I was staring at the two highlighters I bought, I had a sudden flashback (parang Naruto lang...madaming flashback) of something that happened at school more about 15 years ago.The latest fad among elementary students at that time was this "spirit of the ballpen" --- para siyang spirit of the glass para sa mga walang pambili/mapagkukunan ng ouija board. Pero "yes" at "no" lang ang options mo, hindi tulad ng ouija na kulang na lang ay [Esc] at [F1]-[F12].

Anyway...I remember it was a hot August afternoon, habang natatalo na nakikipaglaban ako sa varsity ng chess sa ilalim ng puno sa tapat ng classroom namin, biglang magkaroon ng stampede mula sa main building ng school. Busyng-busy kami sa paglalaro nang biglaan na lang itong nangyari. Wala rin kaming idea kung anong dahilan kung bakit nagkastampede. Dali-dali kong niligpit ang chessboard [iniwanan ako nung kalaro ko na mag-isa---bwiset] at umakyat sa classroom. Doon ko nalaman kung ano yung pinagmulan ng kaguluhan.

May sinaniban daw dahil sa spirit of the ballpen...LOL WTF.

Later that day, nalaman namin na nahilo lang pala yung "sinaniban".

1996 o 1997 pa yata nangyari yon. Nakakatawang isipin na paniwalang paniwala kami noon sa ganung bagay.

Rockwell Ultimate Taste Test 6.0

Kaninang umaga lang siguro natapos matunaw yung lahat ng kinain ko kahapon. This event started at exactly eleven in the morning. I was already there at around eight, because I was expecting a long line, but thankfully there was none. When the doors opened, most of the people went straight to booth number 1, which was Concept Specialist Inc----any guesses on what they sell?---coffee with different flavors. Immediately, I noticed that most people would go start with #1, so we tried a different strategy: 10-1, 20-11, 30-21, and so on...Unfortunately the strategy didn't help much as the tent were deluged with foodies. in less than an hour, booth #55 became just as jam packed as booth #1. We managed to complete all the taste-tests in the event.

Some of the notable food/drinks that I tasted

• Flavored Brewed coffee by Concept Specialist Inc- (the one I mentioned earlier) I think the coffee I tried had a hint of cherry or some berry.
• Bugle Boy Arizona Green Tea - this must be the smoothest tea that I have ever tasted. Most teas need a perfect temperature for it to taste great, but not with this one. You can drink it hot or cold, and it will still taste great.
• Muesli Granola Kitchen & Bakeshop - I'm eating their monkey bar as I'm typing. They sell oatmeal bars that tastes a bit like ampao, but better. It's not too sweet or sticky like an ampao.
• Big Daddy Jay's All American Barbeque - this is the first booth that received a 5 from me. I love American food. I love thick slabs of grilled/smoked meat that disintegrate on your mouth. Their specialty is the Big Daddy Jay's Ultimate plate...It's P544, but damn, if you see the serving, and tasted the juicy meat, you'd buy it even if it's P800!
• Sushi Mo - I'm not a fan of raw or partially cooked Japanese Food, but I made an exception with Sushi Mo. The taste of their sushi is no longer authentic japanese...as if it was "adjusted" to suit the pinoy tastebuds (I'm not sure, but that's how it tasted to me) This is the first time that I was able to finish more than 1 piece of sushi (I ate 4).
• Gourmet Keso - chevre (goat cheese) with some added herbs and stuff...it tastes great. I hope I they sell their products in SM/Rob Supermarket.
• Casa San Luis - Quiche (read: keeesh) It looks like a pie of sorts. I don't know from what country this dish came from. They have adobo and bangus flavored quiche.
  
• Mochiko - Mochi Ice cream cookie dough flavor. It's an ice cream that is covered with bread-ish something...which turns out to be ice cream too. It tastes best when it is not too frozen. The owner, instructed us to wait for a few minutes before eating it. As you can see that I'm running out of adjectives...yes, it tastes, damn freaking great and delicious. I'm craving for it right now.
• Carmen's Best Ice Cream - again, I don't like ice cream that much, but I'm singing Paramore's The Only Exception, as I indulged in the two tiny scoops of brazilian coffee an malted milk flavored ice cream.
  

other notable food from the event:

• Spicy Chocolate - tastes like any ordinary P50 chocolate but, with a spicy aftertaste. I think it's having some sort of identity crisis: not sure if it wants to be an appetizer or a dessert (it's really a dessert)
• Strawberry and Mango Kefir - I'm not sure if the chef accidentally dropped a sack of sugar while making this frozen yogurt. I think it people with sweet tooth(teeth?) will like this though..
• Free Cerveza Negra/ SanMig Premium/ San Mig Pilsen (one only)- one of my friends doesn't drink beer...so I got his. >=D
• Hyphy's Calamansi Tuyo Spaghetti - it's black and it tastes like....tuyo of course.
• 5 Loaves & 2 Fish - Baked Veggie chips.
  
• Eat my GF - Fries cooked in Garlic and Parsley. Not too salty compared to the usual fries.

Sighted:

• Anton Diaz - You might not have heard of him, but he is one of the most popular food bloggers in the country. It's in his blog where I linked that photo that I discovered this whole thing.
  
• Gary Villanueva - Managing Director of Creative Juice Inc---the organizer of the event. I've been talking to him even before the doors opened--not realizing that he was one of the masterminds. I think he remembered me because I was the first one to arrive at the venue (3 hours early!). He was very friendly to the guests and the participants and very hands on with his business (event organizing company).
  
• Janice de Belen - her son is one of the participating vendors: Luigi Muhlach, as in the son of Aga Muhlach.
  
• Gelli de Belen and Ariel Rivera - They probably went with Janice. We saw them at the Power Plant Mall.
• Legs. Lots of Legs. Some with tight fitting maong, while some in very very tight fitting leather. Some covered with nothing but the air around them. My eyes were just as full as my stomach.

It was a wonderful gastronomic experience. I'm looking forward to 7.0!

Posts

I'm tired of Facebook. Not because everybody's there, but because of the negativity, the posts regarding mundane stuff, etc....but that's what social networking is all about, for you to know if the spoonful of rice has already reached someone's mouth, and the daily update of a friend's bowel movement and whatnot...

If I was a criminal, I could have already robbed houses, stolen identities, blackmailed, probably even access someone's bank account just by looking at their status posts, info, and check-ins.

I've set many of my facebook so-called "friends" (see the emphasis?) posts to hidden because of extreme negativity. I even unfriended and blocked one of my uncles because majority of his posts contained the word p*tang!na...After a day's work, the last thing you want to see in facebook is a wall-full of p*tang!na's to end your day.

Recently I have blocked another "friend" due to severe oddity. I've been wondering why there are chung-chung-park's* birthday celebration and soon-sdfkjhk-han's concert invitations on the right sidebar of my page...and then I checked who among my friends signed up for those events. His name popped up on the invitations. Those events will be held in Korea and in Peru.

On the other hand, I have another "friend" who I don't mind when she floods my wall with her twitter-facebook crossposts. She's a close friend of one of our choirmates. We met her only once, but our group easily got along with her.

Posts

I'm tired of Facebook. Not because everybody's there, but because of the negativity, the posts regarding mundane stuff, etc....but that's what social networking is all about, for you to know if the spoonful of rice has already reached someone's mouth, and the daily update of a friend's bowel movement and whatnot...

If I was a criminal, I could have already robbed houses, stolen identities, blackmailed, probably even access someone's bank account just by looking at their status posts, info, and check-ins.

I've set many of my facebook so-called "friends" (see the emphasis?) posts to hidden because of extreme negativity. I even unfriended and blocked one of my uncles because majority of his posts contained the word p*tang!na...After a day's work, the last thing you want to see in facebook is a wall-full of p*tang!na's to end your day.

Recently I have blocked another "friend" due to severe oddity. I've been wondering why there are chung-chung-park's* birthday celebration and soon-sdfkjhk-han's concert invitations on the right sidebar of my page...and then I checked who among my friends signed up for those events. His name popped up on the invitations. Those events will be held in Korea and in Peru.

On the other hand, I have another "friend" who I don't mind when she floods my wall with her twitter-facebook crossposts. She's a close friend of one of our choirmates. We met her only once, but our group easily got along with her.

Gotten

So nice to see your face again
Tell me how long has it been
Since you've been here
(since you've been here)
You look so different than before
But still the person I adore
Frozen with fear
I'm out of love but I'll take it from the past
I'll let out words cause I'm sure It'll never last

And I've been saving
These last words for one last miracle
But now I'm not sure
I can't save you if
You don't let me
You just get me like I never
Been gotten before

Maybe it's the bitter wind
A chill from the Pacific rim
That brought you this way
(that brought you my way)
Do not make me think of him
The way he touch your fragile skin

That hunts me everyday
I'm out of love but I can't forget the past
I'm out of words but I'm sure it'll never last

And I've been saving
These last words for one last miracle
But now I'm not sure
I can't save you if
You don't let me
You just get me like I never
Been gotten before
Like I never been gotten before

So nice to see you face again
But tell me will this ever end?
Don't disappear

And I've been saving
These last words for one last miracle
But now I'm not sure
I can't save you if
You don't let me
You just get me like I never
Been gotten before
Like I never been gotten before

Final Boss

I had a friend during High School who told me this:

In the end, you have to fight on your own.

Not the exact words, but, well, parang ganun. I forgot what the situation was kung bakit niya nasabi yun. All I remember is nasa computer lab kami noon. I never forgot that moment. Bigla ba namang parang saniban yung kaibigan mo, at biglang nag-english, hindi ka naman ba magtaka nun?---yung parang bumwelo pa para mag-english. LOL

But seriously, tumatak yung sinabi niyang yun sa isip ko. Tuwing nakakaranas ako ng problema at wala na akong mahingan ng tulong, naririnig ko siya na sinasabi yun sa akin. Sobrang totoo nung statement na yun. In the end, hindi ka matutulungan ng mga kaibigan o kamag-anak mo. Maliban sa Diyos, wala ka nang ibang maaasahan kundi yung sarili mo.

Para sakin paalala yun para maging laging competent ka sa lahat ng gawain mo, kasi yung competence mo lang ang maaasahan mo (minsan nga, kahit competent ka, kulang pa rin).

The boy who cried "Forced Labor"

I had to skip my android review blog post for this.

Stupid kid.

Balita ko nagkakaroon na rin ng batas dito sa Pilipinas tungkol sa pagbabawal ng pamamalo, at iba pang uri ng parusa na pwedeng ibigay ng mga magulang sa mga anak nila. I hope this won't make the cut. I didn't like being spanked when I was a kid, but I believe it is very important in teaching them a lesson.

Parents these days are becoming too kind---to the point that they're no longer "the boss", or as Cesar Millan would put it: the Alpha.

Wasak na wasak - Radioactive Sago Project

RA Rivera

Google Android Review, Tutorial, Tips, and Apps Part 1

Apat na buwan na rin mula nung binili ko itong android phone ko. Mula noon, halos nawala na yung interes ko sa iPhone (maliban na lang kung libre). Ang binili kong model ay Samsung i5510. It's a mid-range phone... just enough for my needs:

Specifications:
OS: Android 2.2 Froyo
Processor: 667Mhz
Internal Memory/RAM: 384Mb
Memory: SDHC
Camera: 3.2 Megapixels
other features:
- slide out qwerty keyboard
- DLNA capable

The first thing an android phone user should know: how to maximize your google account/s. I use almost ALL of the basic Google stuff like Gmail, Google Docs, Calendar, Bookmarks and Chrome. The great thing about Google services, is that they work together like a charm. If you create a contact in Gmail, for example. If you included the contact's birthday info, it will automatically be marked on your calendar. No need to manually create an event.

Whenever I make a new contact in my phone, I save the new entry to my Gmail account instead of using the phone's internal phonebook. You can save a new contact to your gmail account even if you're not connected to the internet---it will sync the next time you connect.

Minsan pag tinatamad akong magbukas ng phone (habang nakaharap sa PC) at may kailangan akong isave na number, nagbubukas na lang ako ng Gmail at dun ko sine-save--mas masarap magtype sa malaking keyboard ( more on this later ;D )

Your Gmail account can also be used with the Android Market (obviously). Pag tinatamad [pa rin] ako, at kailangan kong magdownload ng bagong app for my phone, I go to the android market and "install" an app via my Gmail account --while my phone is offline. By the time I get home, or if ever I accidentally enter a free wi-fi zone, my app will be downloaded automagically (take that, Steve Jobs!). This happened once in Robinsons Galleria: Hindi ko napansin na on yung wifi ko. By the time I boarded a bus and checked my phone, the app was already there. I heard that this feature will [only] be added to the iOS (aka iPhone OS) by September.

US Debt Infographic

Just when you thought WE have THE big debt...

see the infographic

see the timer / calculator

100++++ F*ing Trillion F*ing Dollars

The last time I checked, our debt is around 4.7 trillion Pesos

or P 40,000 or P 64,000 (I'm not sure which of my internet sources is reliable) for every Filipino

Playing to your Strength

When Harry Potter entered the Triwizard tournament, he had a huge problem making a strategy on how to complete the first task. Bartemius Crouch Jr., disguised as Mad-Eye, tipped him to play to his strength, which was Quidditch.

I used this strategy more than once. Last year, for example, I had to make a talk in front of a huge crowd. I had to make a talk about anything that has to do with music. The choirmasters of all the choirs in the Parish were required to do so. The problem was, I was probably the only choirmaster who didn't know how to read musical notes. Well, actually, I can---but it will take me eons to finish a 1-page music sheet. In short, I was the underdog. I was like the pre-super-soldier-serum Steve Rogers (that's Captain America) beside the other choirmasters. There's nothing I can say that the audience of singers and musicians doesn't already know.

And then I realized that I DO know something better than my audience doesn't know very well: gadgets and technology.
And so, the talk went well and my speech ended up as one of the well received talks among the eight or so choirmasters.
My criteria for a successful talk were all green:

• I did not see anyone sleeping. Hell Yeah! >=D
  
• The audience participated very well with my talk (they laughed and sang without having to beg them)
  
• Some of the audience had some questions the day after the event (I wasn't able to give them a chance to ask because of the lack of time)
• ...and the best proof that my talk was successful: I enjoyed the talk myself. I enjoyed it too much that I exceeded the allotted time.

Futball!

Hindi ako mahilig sa sports pero sinusundan ko bawat laban ng Azkals. Unfortunately, kagabi, nawala na yung chance nila na makalusot sa FIFA qualifiers. But I think it's a good start. Nagbabasa-basa ako ng mga forums at blogs kanina, at napansin ko na hindi uncommon yung mga nay-sayers.

IMHO, mas magandang suportahan natin yung mga sports na hindi advantage yung strength at height, kasi sobrang lugi tayo doon. ASA ka namang malayo ang mararating natin sa basketball---pwede tayong maging magaling doon, I agree---but we can only go so far---we are limited by physical build. Hindi ka makakahanap ng pinoy na makakatalon na tulad ng mga NBA players (hindi counted yung 90%+ foreign blood ha =P)

Sa football, totoo, advantage ang mahahabang binti--pero hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon. Merong mga pagkakataon na advantage yung pagiging maliit.

Pano naman sa boxing? advantage ang haba ng braso at lakas doon. ---PERO, hindi tulad ng ibang contact-sports, may weight divisions sa boxing. That's a big difference. If you don't believe me, try to arm-wrestle someone 10Kg heavier than you (whose only form of exercise is lifting utensils) (it doesn't matter if you exercise or not, btw)

----

After the game, the Kuwaiti football said that he's expecting the Azkals to be among the top ten in the next FIFA Qualifiers.

Personally--hindi naman sa wala akong tiwala sa skills nila-- to reach the top 10 within 4 years is too optimistic... top 20, pwede pa.

Zen

You don't look for zen. That's what a Buddhism book tells me.
The more you look for it, the harder it will be for you to find it.

I've been searching for that peaceful state of mind ever since I was in High School. I read a lot of psychology and philosophy books. I even read the psychology books that my brother used in college. (He's a psych Major).

These past few days, I've been neglecting my search for it...and oddly enough, this is when it showed up to me. Right now I'm feeling so impervious from verbal harm. Even if I know someone out there is badmouthing our group of friends [for some issue which I would not discuss here], I'm feeling fine---I was even laughing when I heard what s/he had to say. Being hypersensitive, this is something new for me.

Now I can really say,
"You could turn off the sun, but I'm still gonna shine!"

Live Birth video?

(don't worry--this is not a shock video---and is totally safe for work too) - got this via facebook.

Rudeness epidemic

A few weeks ago may nabasa akong article sa internet tungkol sa kumakalat na --ahem-- rudeness.

[OMG, hindi ko talaga magawang magsulat ng blog na pure tagalog XP --- forgive me for murdering the languages]

Hindi ko mailaga yung link dito kasi hindi ko na makita yung site na pinagbasehan ko nito. Base dun sa sinulat, ---and I agree with this--- nitong mga nakaraang taon, ramdam na ramdam ung pagkalat ng epidemyang ito sa Pilipinas. Nung una akala ko, dahil lang mas madalas na akong nasa Maynila, pero pati sa mismong village pa lang namin, karaniwan na ito. Karaniwan na yung mga bata na sobrang lutong magmura, samantalang noong early 2000 halos wala kang akong naririnig na ganun. Ngayon, ang kailangan ko lang gawin at tanggalin yung headphones ko para makarinig ng mga batang nagmumura sa labas ng bahay---sa tapat ng kwarto ko.

Naalala ko tuloy yung lyrics ng kanta ni Blakdyak (ganyan ba ang spelling?) noong Grade 6 pa ako.

"'Lo Mabuti pa kayo ni Lola, namulat sa matitinong uso..."

Noong panahon na yon, nacocornyhan ako sa lyrics. Yung mga ganitong kanta ang depinisyon ng "Novelty Songs"--may kabuluhan pa yung lyrics. Ngayon, kung bibigyan kita ng piso sa kada kanta na hindi puro 'puso', 'pag-ibig', 'damdamin', 'pagmamahal', sex, o revival, baka ni hindi ka makabili ng McFloat.

Sad to say, pero hindi na "efficient" ang maging mabuti ngayon, kasi yung society na mismo ang nagiging masama...ang nakakatakot pa dito, palala pa ito ng palala. "Uso" na ngayon ang maging masama. Kung sa negosyo, hindi ka bebenta pag hindi mo hahaluan ng kalokohan yung mga binebenta mo...utakan na lang, wala na yung "service".

-- to be continued (naubusan ng idea, nawawala na ako sa topic ahehe) --

Other signs of aging

Habang nagkakaroon ako ng isang matinding conversation sa YM, nagulat na lang ako at biglang may nagbabasa ng lahat ng tinatype ko. Ayun pala, yung tito ko nakatayo sa likod, parang sinaniban ng isang text-to-speech program. Kailangan ba talagang basahin ng malakas lahat ng nakasulat kahit saan?? =\

Napansin ko rin tong habit na to sa pinsan ko na mahigit 20 years ang agwat sa akin...
Hindi naman niya yun gawain dati, pero mula nung dito siya tumira since last year, habit na rin pala niya ang magbasa ng lahat ng nakasulat.. tuwing may nagbabasa sa tinatype ko sa YM, inaalog ko yung window para tumigil yung nagbabasa...

Isa pang napansin ko---ewan ko kung sa pamilya lang namin to--- habang tumatanda, nagiging habit din yung pag-kanta ng gusto [niyang] sabihin...example:


oldperson: *nakikipag usap sa ibang tao*
oldperson: wala ka talagang ka-dala-dala!
oldperson: *be-bwelo muna* walaaaaang~ kadalaaaaadalaaa~(lagyan ng tono---kahit anong tono, hindi kailangang maganda)

Isa pa yung nagmomonologue... nakakairita. Yung bigla na ang magsasalita...parang facebook status na naghihintay comment at like. Madalas to sa bus. Halimbawa, biglang pumreno yung driver...tapos may katabi akong matanda biglang magsasalita: "kasi...dapat yung mga ......para "
Ako pa naman yung walang pakialam sa mga ganun...kaya ang ginagawa ko na lang, bigla kong ilalabas yung headphone ko at magpapatugtog ng napakalakas na Paramore.
Pero sa totoo lang, ang gusto kong gawin ay patugtugan sila ng I don't ca-a-a-a-a-are~

=\
----
*bwelo* Ang saraaaaaap isumbong kay bonggang-bonggang bong-bong ng habit nila na to. XP

Supervillain

If I had a tagline, it would be:
"One lab accident away from being a supervillain"

Call me weird, but I totally understand what the usual giant-robot wielding villains have in mind whenever they want to conquer Japan the world. Whether their concern is personal gain, or they think humans are cretins (or any animal used as a description to defame other people) --like the villain in Gundam G, for example--, or they're just simply evil (like the Joker)...I get their point. Whenever I watch superhero movies, I always secretly root for the villain, although I know they won't win because people want boring happy-ending-stories.

If you are working in some gamma-ray experiments or radioactive animals, I'd like a trrip to your offices...

The current full moon has an opposite effect on me. I feel energized. I don't feel depressed or anything.

Perfection

Google Servers

Just how powerful is Google?

Anong title nito?

na-lss ako sa kanta na narinirig ko nung bata pa ako...

ska or reggae yung genre nya... hindi ko sure kung eto talaga yung lyrics or inimbento lang yan ng isip ko.

Shing-gang guniguniguni watch out shing-gang-gu shing-gang-gu

Shing-gang guniguniguni watch out shing-gang-gu shing-gang-gu

ee-la, ee-la she-la!

ee-la, ee-la she-la oooh~

ee-la, ee-la she-la!

ee-la, ee-la she-la oooh~

I repeat... ndi ko alam kung ganyan talaga yung lyrics.

if you're 22 and below, you probably do not know this...

[kahit mga ka-age ko nagugulat sa mga naaalala ko sa panahon na yon---sabi ang tanda ko na raw, eh magsing tanda lang naman kami]

NYANNYANNYANNYAN!!! =)))))

Real Life Dexter

I'm not talking about the Dexter Morgan--marami nang real-world na ganun. I'm talking about the Dexter in Dexter's Lab. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you're probably not a 90's kid. I grew up watching this stuff repeatedly.

I saw a new report of a teenager who had a secret lab in his closet... and he uses for what?---> to make highly enriched uranium! And he's even trying to sell this stuff!

This kid deserves more than just a timeout.

Poor Doggy (Serious this time)

Matagal ko nang naririnig yung Dog Whisperer TV show sa National Geographic, pero nung sunday lang ako nagkaroon ng chance na makita yun. Near the end of this clip, you can see Chip trying to fend off other dogs are "investigating" him. Siguro yung reaction ng ibang tao dun sa scene na yun, takot [specially yung part na kinagat niya yung PIT BULL], pero para sakin, awa yung nararamdaman ko dun sa aso. The poor dog is just threatened and probably is VERY scared. He doesn't know the proper way of handling that situation. Meanwhile, bilib naman ako dun sa discipline nung ibang aso specially dun sa pit bull. They could have easily overpowered Chip, but they didn't.

It's an awesome show. I will watch that show regularly from now on. =)

asdas

Poor Doggy.... XD

Poor Doggy.... XD

clean your room, clean your mind

The appearance of your room reflects your personality and the state of your mind. Napatunayan ko ito kaninang umaga. I tried cleaning my room this morning and I saw lots of garbage hidden among the things that I actually use. Mahilig akong magtago ng mga bagay na tingin ko mapapakinabangan ko pa, pero later on, nagiging sagabal na lang at hindi ko naman talaga magagamit.

Marami akong naitapon na mga "relic"-- mga nahawakan ni kwan, tapos nagkaroon na ng sentimental value para sa akin. They don't really serve me any purpose besides being a reminder.

Parang ganun din sa isip ko: maraming kalat, maraming distraction--kaya hindi ko kaagad-agad magawa yung mga kailangan kong gawin.

Katulad ng isip ko, sumpungin din yung kalinisan ng kwarto ko. Pagkatapos kong maglinis, babalik na uli yung kalat kinabukasan. Actually ngayon pa lang nagbabalik na ulit yung kalay---kumusta naman.

Minsan, kahit mukhang malinis nga yung kwarto ko, pagbukas mo naman ng drawe, dun lang nakatago yung mga kalat. Nasa ilalim ng kama, nasa likod ng aparador-- naghihintay na bumulaga sa sinomang magtatanka na pasukin yung kwarto ko.

Being clean and organized is a habit that I need to learn.

Turnaround

"Do not do unto others what you want others not to do unto you"

- Confucius

I judge people too quickly. I admit that. A few weeks ago, I was sent to a different office to do some stuff. There's this new person there who I found annoying---for no reason. I avoided talking to her, but then I realized I had no reason to do this. I guess she sensed it, or thought I didn't want to be approached.

But I don't want to make more enemies/haters. I'm starting too see why I'm such a people-repellent. I looked for a common interest. I didn't find it too difficult to look for one, because immediately I saw that we have the same laptop (Lenovo S10-2), she likes music, and she sings too! I chatted her a bit---and I think what I did was enough to change her opinion.

It has been a week mula nung makabalik ako dito sa Head Office. Bumalik na rin siya kanina dito. When I saw her, I greeted her, and she greeted me back. I just earned a friend. =)

Maybe for others this is a common story...but for someone who has problems with making friends [like me], this is a milestone. 1UP!

Live like it's the end of the world

Mga amerikano na siguro ang may mga pinakamatitigas na mukha. Nasabi ko to after reading what Harold Camping had to say when is end of the world (rapture) prediction failed. He spent millions of dollars to promote his "infallible" end of the world prediction last saturday (though he probably earned more in the process---I bet). His advertisements are seen all over the world...I even saw one above Robinsons Imus. It read: "Cry mightily unto the Lord". I thought it was God's sign for me for my other problems(which I'm not going to talk about here)--ayun pala tungkol pala yun sa end of the world...whatiz?!

He reacted as if saying, "oh well...". He also is saying that the world will still end in October 21 this year with no build-up of catastrophes--as if it was the most natural thing---tigas! I'll be waiting for that!

You can read about the interview here.

He reminds me of the american idol contestants who have terrible voices but have extremely high self-esteem, saying that the judges have "no taste", and could not understand "real music". Crazy, crazy americans! (I'm not referring to ALL americans, just to the crazies) Those people badly need some sort of self-esteem liposuction--or transfusion--some people need self-esteem oh-so-badly (yes, I'm talking about myself)...And while where at it, we can also have some carbs and fats transfused---I need those too.

****

Some brilliant enterprising Americans have capitalized on the doomsday believers. I think they're awesome! Post-rapture pet adoption --- for those who believed that they wouldn't be on earth come Sunday(the day after they 'ascend'), but would like someone to take care of their pets. They could pay this company $135 to take care of their pets and some of their cash.

****

Rapture Bomb - some took the opportunity to do some awesome trolling: most popular were the Tony Hawk, and David Copperfield. It's called rapture bombing (as opposed to flashing, flash mobbing etc..--just check their meanings in urbandictionary.com)

You can check out some rapture bombs here.

--------------------------------

Definitions: (not the actual meaning--just the lay man's terms---you'll have to excavate their wikipedia entries just to get these)

rapture - when the physical and spiritual bodies of the "chosen" people ascend to heaven so they could avoid the punishments. This happens before the actual end of the world (Oct 21, according to Camping). Clothes and other physical possessions are left here on earth, hence the rapture prank.

asdf

Siguro kaya hindi ako makramdam ng empathy, dahil lumaki ako na hindi ko kailangang isipin yung nararamdaman ng ibang tao. Sila ang bahalang mag adjust sa lahat ng bagay.

Ang hirap pa ng pakiramdam lalo na't lumaki rin ako na buong pagkakaalam ko, matalino ako--only to realize na wala akong kaalam-alam sa buhay sa kabila ng mga nalalaman ko.

It feels like my life is a lie--i think this thought is the one that makes me feel so depressed kaya wala akong katiwa-tiwala sa sarili ko.

These past few months, kung napansin niyo, ndi na ako masyadong nagoopen sa inyo... i had a really hard time nung muntik mapalayo si sle, at nung umalis na si ezie. I had to protect myself back then. this time sa napapalapit na pag-alis ni anna...at ang naisip ko lang na paraan ay yung matuto ako na magsarili ng mga problema.. i want to be strong. I've been bracing myself for it. Up to this point--ngayon ko lang napansin-- i was only thinking of my own good. I have been too selfish. I've always been so selfish. Sorry hindi ko kayo inisip, hindi ko inisip yung mararamdaman niyo. Masyado akong natatakot para sa sarili ko.

Another reason why I don't seek help anymore is because I'm an attention-hog. I crave for any form of attention... at tuwing humihingi ako ng tulong--- i feel like it's some sort of subconcious call for attention. Baka mas makakatulong na lang sakin kung sasarilinin ko na lang yung problema.

--

I'm such a handful. Sometimes I even wonder how you could stand me---I couldn't even stand myself. Minsan gusto kong nang umalis sa group of friends natin kasi hindi ko na matiis yung mga ginagawa ko sa inyo.

I make mistakes; you forgive me; I change for a while and then start hurting you again.

I really really really want to change...stop hurting the people i love/ people who love me. But i don't know why I keep on coming back to this.

lagi na lang akong natatakot na baka may magawa na ako na talagang iiwanan nyo na ako. kasi kahit anong ingat ko, may nagagawa pa rin akong ganun eh.

I wouldn't be surprised if biglaan nyo na lang akong iwan. I feel like I deserve it. You're all great people, bhests.... i feel like you deserve a better friend than me.

i want to change--i'm always trying to [hindi man halata]. i don't know why i can't.

---

sorry i can't express my thoughts verbally.. im really not good at it. mas nasasabi ko yung gusto kong sabihin pag through writing. mas napag-iisipan ko (i think)

Gymnastics of life

Matagal na akong nag-iisip ng way para madistinguish yung IQ sa EQ. I know it's obvious to many...pero sakin hindi.

when IQ > EQ

- pag naiintindihan mo yung logic ng situation, pero ndi ma-absorb ng emotions mo yung tamang feelings para dun--colloquially known as matigas ang ulo---nakakapasok nga yung idea pero walang sasalo nung data---parang lindol na tumama sa city na walang seismograph---no data to analyze.

Kumbaga sa music, you can read notes but can not play by ear.

when EQ/IQ

- basically, reverse mo lang yung explanation above... gets mo yung feeling..pero yung logic...hindi masyado. honestly, hindi ko gets kung paano to kasi hindi ganito yung condition ko. Pero tingin ko makukumpara ko rin to sa "de oido" sa music--which i understand-- [Oido means ear in spanish--de oido=by ear]

there are advantages / disadvantages to both cases, pero siyempre pinakamaganda kung equal sila.

kailangan [here i go again~] balanced...

find that balance...

that friggin' balance again...

right versus left brain

emotions versus logic

good versus evil

napakadaming bagay sa buhay na kailangang i-balanse. Malingat ka lang sandali, tutumba ka na sa kumukulong asupre gilid ng balance beam ng buhay. Alam nating lahat na kailangan nating makuha yung "gold medal"...pero minsan---madalas, actually--- mas masarap na tumalon na lang dun sa gilid...at pagtalon mo sa gilid, pagbabatuhin mo na lang yung mga nagpupumilit na tumawid pa.

The germans have a term for this: schadenfreude - the pleasure of seeing others in pain/failure.

Mahirap, kailangan laging dilat. Sabi nga ni Mad-Eye Moody, kailangan ng "constant vigilance".

mahirap, nakakatamad, at hindi ka pa sigurado kung gold medal nga ba yung makukuha [kung may makukuha ka at all]

but there is this little thread keeping me from falling over to the sides of this beam: Im not sure if it is faith. --im not sure, but im glad it's there, keeping me from believing in the existence of that gold medal--kahit hindi ko naman ito nakikita sa kinatatayuan ko sa kasalukuyan.

ah ewan.

sites you cannot unsee

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nothing. that's what happened

Marlin: No. I promised him I'd never let anything happen to him.

Dory: Huh. That's a funny thing to promise.

Marlin: What?

Dory: Well, you can't never let anything happen to him. Then, nothing would ever happen to him. (Marlin stares at her.) Not much fun for little Harpo.

20 something years later, Nemo still couldn't forgive Marlin.

Don't spoil your kids.

Or else they will become the bitches, emos, hipsters, forever_alone(s) of tomorrow

laptop battery

it's been 3-4 months since i bought my netbook. isa sa una kong niresearch pagkabili ko ay yung kung paano alagaan yung battery. I bought this specific model because of it's extra long battery life --- i'm using a Lenovo S10-2 3G with 6-cell battery. S10-2 with 6-cell batteries has one of the longest battery life ratings. up to 5.5hrs as advertised --- and yes it lasts that long in my real world tests. Ang may pinaka-mahabang battery life sa mga netbooks/laptops ay yung Asus Eee 1001HA, which lasts for 11 hours daw, pero sa totoo lang nasa 5.5-6hrs, according dun sa isang review na nabasa ko.

According to my research, masama daw i-overcharge ang battery.

- Pag 90+% na, tanggalin na sa saksak.

- bago mag 5% isaksak na ulit.

- kung gusto mong tanggalin yung battery, make sure na around 40% yung battery level---40% daw yung magic number pag hindi gagamitin yung battery-- i dunno what that means-- they[the reviewers] don't know [why] either.

- once a month, allow your battery to reach 100% and 0%.

Sinubukan ko yung mga yan...and so far so good. I've been online since 9PM (90% battery), playing starcraft 1, and i still have 68% remaining (using lenovo battery setting).

Kahapon nag-open ako ng torrent at around 4PM ... natapos yung download ko ng 9:30PM.

Nung nagbukas ako, nasa 73%--nung natapos ako, 43% remaining pa. Iniwanan ko lang na nakabukas yung pc, pero hindi ko ginagamit habang nanonood ako ng TV [max battery setting].

thesis tips

I graduated in 2008. Parang kailan lang, 3 days akong walang tulog para lang magawa ang modules ko sa thesis namin. Sa sobrang antok, mapapa-wish ka talaga na sana may magic, para magawa mo ang isang specific na bagay na kailangang-kailangan mo para matapos mo yung thesis mo(Sana pwedeng magteleport papuntang school, Sana pwede magtime-travel, etc). Merong mga bagay na wish ko lang sana naimbento na noon at mga bagay na sana naisip kong gawin noon.

1. Dropbox - para siyang folder na synchronized sa lahat ng pc na ginagamit mo. example: naglagay/nag-update ka ng file sa dropbox folder mo sa homePC...tapos may dropbox acct ka rin sa laptop mo...automatically, makokopya yung file sa dropbox folder mo sa laptop. Ang problema kasi pag maraming kopya ng isang klaseng file, malo-lose track ka sa version... Naalala ko dati, meron kaming "Thesis Final.doc", "Thesis Final na talaga.doc", "Thesis super final.doc"... no really! maraming version ng final, nagkakalituhan na.

Isa pang problema na masosolve ng dropbox...yung accessibility ng files. No more asking kung "nakopya mo na ba yung...sdfsdf.doc ko?" -- everything will be synced.

Suggestion: make a joint-dropbox account with your thesis mates.

2. Google Docs - may isang problema na possibleng magmula sa pagkakaroon ng maraming versions-- baka mali yung ma-save sa dropbox folder! this is where google docs will be helpful; with google docs, you and your team mates can edit 1 file simultaneously over the internet! just make a file and then share it with your team mate. Ipapakita ng google docs kung nasaan yung cursormo at ng ka-team mo. Para habang nag-eedit ka ng chapter 5a..pwede nang magsimula yung kasama mo sa 5b. just don't forget to save after every few minutes.

Isa pang advantage: autosave. after 5-10 seconds na tumigil ka sa pagttype, mag-ssave na automatically ang google docs.

3. SVN - Hindi ako sigurado kung pang mga I.T. people lang to. pero katulad nung naunang dalawa, tungkol to sa pag-sync. pang sync naman ito ng source code.

4. MS Office 2007 - Mas madaling gamitin. Plus may autosave feature para kahit mag-crash/mag-black-out, safe ang files. dont forget to turn that feature on!

-----------------

extra:

5. Good Playlist - Pag nanghihina ka na sa sobrang antok, pero meron ka pang kailangang tapusin...wag uminom ng redbull/Extra Joss/etc---instead, gumawa ng playlist containing the ff:

- Pomp and Circumstance (aka Graduation March)

- Alma Mater song

- The Final Countdown

Inspired by my best friends' current dillemas.. good luck bhests anna and jamt! =D

problem, iphone killers?

Mula nung nilabas yung iphone, ipad, ipod touch, hindi na tumigil ang ibang company sa pag-gawa ng mga iphone 'killers'. So far, all of the competitor's phones that i've tried were NOTHING compared to what the iOS can do. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big supporter of Google's Android OS ever since its inception. Android's interface is great...but the manufacturer's ui layers defile the already awesome google brainchild.

Among the most popular android layers (MotoBlur, HTC Sense, Samsung Touchwiz UI, SE Timescape) only HTC Sense...makes sense. it's the only one that actually provides some improvements to android.

I'm not sure about the exact numbers of the latest iPhones' specs, but here are my estimates:

800Mhz Apple A4 (or A5?) Processor

256Gb RAM

16-32Gb

Meanwhile, its competitors have:

1-1.2Ghz ARM Processor

512Gb RAM

Dedicated GPU!

16-32Gb

But despite all these specs, their UI's aren't as smooth or as intuitive as the iOS.

I think the only OS that has the potential to defeat iOS in terms of user-friendliness is *drumroll* Microsoft's Windows Mobile 7.

Yes, I hate to admit it. I've always been a microsoft hater, due to my bad experiences with their OS.

But Microsoft really nailed it with WinMo7. They were able to make something completely new---unlike with their Desktop OS which is starting to look like a Mac OS rip-off.

And based on the demos of winmo7, the interface is smooth--if not smoother---than iOS! I can't base my conclusions on pre-release videos---but if it turned out anything close to the demo videos.... e di maganda.

Im still rooting for android... the stock android. without the "improvements"