Turnaround

"Do not do unto others what you want others not to do unto you"

- Confucius

I judge people too quickly. I admit that. A few weeks ago, I was sent to a different office to do some stuff. There's this new person there who I found annoying---for no reason. I avoided talking to her, but then I realized I had no reason to do this. I guess she sensed it, or thought I didn't want to be approached.

But I don't want to make more enemies/haters. I'm starting too see why I'm such a people-repellent. I looked for a common interest. I didn't find it too difficult to look for one, because immediately I saw that we have the same laptop (Lenovo S10-2), she likes music, and she sings too! I chatted her a bit---and I think what I did was enough to change her opinion.

It has been a week mula nung makabalik ako dito sa Head Office. Bumalik na rin siya kanina dito. When I saw her, I greeted her, and she greeted me back. I just earned a friend. =)

Maybe for others this is a common story...but for someone who has problems with making friends [like me], this is a milestone. 1UP!

Live like it's the end of the world

Mga amerikano na siguro ang may mga pinakamatitigas na mukha. Nasabi ko to after reading what Harold Camping had to say when is end of the world (rapture) prediction failed. He spent millions of dollars to promote his "infallible" end of the world prediction last saturday (though he probably earned more in the process---I bet). His advertisements are seen all over the world...I even saw one above Robinsons Imus. It read: "Cry mightily unto the Lord". I thought it was God's sign for me for my other problems(which I'm not going to talk about here)--ayun pala tungkol pala yun sa end of the world...whatiz?!

He reacted as if saying, "oh well...". He also is saying that the world will still end in October 21 this year with no build-up of catastrophes--as if it was the most natural thing---tigas! I'll be waiting for that!

You can read about the interview here.

He reminds me of the american idol contestants who have terrible voices but have extremely high self-esteem, saying that the judges have "no taste", and could not understand "real music". Crazy, crazy americans! (I'm not referring to ALL americans, just to the crazies) Those people badly need some sort of self-esteem liposuction--or transfusion--some people need self-esteem oh-so-badly (yes, I'm talking about myself)...And while where at it, we can also have some carbs and fats transfused---I need those too.

****

Some brilliant enterprising Americans have capitalized on the doomsday believers. I think they're awesome! Post-rapture pet adoption --- for those who believed that they wouldn't be on earth come Sunday(the day after they 'ascend'), but would like someone to take care of their pets. They could pay this company $135 to take care of their pets and some of their cash.

****

Rapture Bomb - some took the opportunity to do some awesome trolling: most popular were the Tony Hawk, and David Copperfield. It's called rapture bombing (as opposed to flashing, flash mobbing etc..--just check their meanings in urbandictionary.com)

You can check out some rapture bombs here.

--------------------------------

Definitions: (not the actual meaning--just the lay man's terms---you'll have to excavate their wikipedia entries just to get these)

rapture - when the physical and spiritual bodies of the "chosen" people ascend to heaven so they could avoid the punishments. This happens before the actual end of the world (Oct 21, according to Camping). Clothes and other physical possessions are left here on earth, hence the rapture prank.

asdf

Siguro kaya hindi ako makramdam ng empathy, dahil lumaki ako na hindi ko kailangang isipin yung nararamdaman ng ibang tao. Sila ang bahalang mag adjust sa lahat ng bagay.

Ang hirap pa ng pakiramdam lalo na't lumaki rin ako na buong pagkakaalam ko, matalino ako--only to realize na wala akong kaalam-alam sa buhay sa kabila ng mga nalalaman ko.

It feels like my life is a lie--i think this thought is the one that makes me feel so depressed kaya wala akong katiwa-tiwala sa sarili ko.

These past few months, kung napansin niyo, ndi na ako masyadong nagoopen sa inyo... i had a really hard time nung muntik mapalayo si sle, at nung umalis na si ezie. I had to protect myself back then. this time sa napapalapit na pag-alis ni anna...at ang naisip ko lang na paraan ay yung matuto ako na magsarili ng mga problema.. i want to be strong. I've been bracing myself for it. Up to this point--ngayon ko lang napansin-- i was only thinking of my own good. I have been too selfish. I've always been so selfish. Sorry hindi ko kayo inisip, hindi ko inisip yung mararamdaman niyo. Masyado akong natatakot para sa sarili ko.

Another reason why I don't seek help anymore is because I'm an attention-hog. I crave for any form of attention... at tuwing humihingi ako ng tulong--- i feel like it's some sort of subconcious call for attention. Baka mas makakatulong na lang sakin kung sasarilinin ko na lang yung problema.

--

I'm such a handful. Sometimes I even wonder how you could stand me---I couldn't even stand myself. Minsan gusto kong nang umalis sa group of friends natin kasi hindi ko na matiis yung mga ginagawa ko sa inyo.

I make mistakes; you forgive me; I change for a while and then start hurting you again.

I really really really want to change...stop hurting the people i love/ people who love me. But i don't know why I keep on coming back to this.

lagi na lang akong natatakot na baka may magawa na ako na talagang iiwanan nyo na ako. kasi kahit anong ingat ko, may nagagawa pa rin akong ganun eh.

I wouldn't be surprised if biglaan nyo na lang akong iwan. I feel like I deserve it. You're all great people, bhests.... i feel like you deserve a better friend than me.

i want to change--i'm always trying to [hindi man halata]. i don't know why i can't.

---

sorry i can't express my thoughts verbally.. im really not good at it. mas nasasabi ko yung gusto kong sabihin pag through writing. mas napag-iisipan ko (i think)